Interesting Day Today!

Early this morning I was setting off for work, being kinda groggy from a lack of sleep, I tripped down the stairs with my laptop and my Ewok lunch pail. So, from the start at 5AM I knew this was going to be a very interesting day. On the fall from floor 2 to ground level there was very little damage associated with my person. I broke only 2 ribs. Being that I need my ribs very little to walk or use my limbs everything was alright. Laying on the ground I noticed something very strange. Laying there breathing heavily with the scent of morning dew in the air, I noticed a man with a ski mask standing behind the bushes. I shouted to him, "I say good man, what need of you a ski mask? What foulness of a face must you disclose from me? Have you dangerous intent of a robbery?". He then nervously proclaimed, "This is not yo luky day maan!! I want yo laptop, yo bling, yo Versace Specs, and yo wallet. Hand it over or I will bust a cap!". Unshakenly I responded, "You cowardice of a man! How dare you try to make a dishonest living! I am surprised that you would be so inclined to have such a venture towards a man you know not thereof his fighting style and/or technique! Try if you must to cap me if you dare! I honestly must declare I will smote you!" Needless to say after my remarks the worm of a man with a ski mask ran for his life! Rising to my feet laughing, my day started to turn around, so I thought. I surely thought about taking my Silver G35 Infiniti Sports Coup to work today. I just got the thing waxed so I had to take the Hummer (H3), so my car would be nice and shiny for our date tonight(Lost Night). I loaded up the hummer and proceeded back upstairs to say my good byes to my wife, Jenny (Skin). She, being sound asleep, did not hear me approach. I woke her an gave her a big kiss good bye and told her, "My Love I shall see you in about 13 hours, and with much love we must part because I have a meeting in about 30 minutes!".
Driving along minding my own business, heading toward work, I had a tail. I thought surely no one has any interest in following me, but sure enough every turn I made they made and every time I sped up so did they. The car was a black BMW with the windows very dark. It was about 10 minutes into this slow chase when I thought to kick it up a notch. I sped up to 130 MPH. The BMW had no problem keeping up. I did not want this person to know where I was going, so I went off road and so did they. They kept up for some time. Finally they were long gone. I made my way back to the main road and drove along steadily and forgot about that black BMW. About 10 minutes later, gun shots fired and my back glass was shattered. I then knew this was definitely an interesting day. I had no kind of weapon on me to retaliate being that I was headed to the airport and such things were frowned upon. I was tired of playing around with these brutes hence I pulled over and stepped out of the H3. I waited next to my H3 until the black BMW pulled right along side and out came 4 rather large ruffians. Each had a 9mm baretta and a black bat. Before any could speak I spoke, "What is the reason for this chase and your attempted murder? I must say you fellows look like you want to fight. Well, a fight you will have! You have brought this upon yourselves! Have you any idea who you are about to brawl with? I must say it has only been since last Tuesday the last time I pulled a man's heart out with my bare hands, I could do for some more practice!". They all just stood around me with scared faces. None said a word. Realizing I may be late for my meeting if I don't take these guys out quickly I shout, "BEGIN AT ONCE!". At once they came and after disarming one guy with a round house kick, I grabbed his discarded bat and beat the rest of them senseless. I could have killed them, but I decided just to make them unconscious ASAP. In less than 20 seconds 4 large ruffians lay sprawled out on the side of the road in Plano. I searched the BMW and found 3 suit cases filled with money. Not being greedy I only took one and left a note which read:

Dear Ruffians,
I have taken one suit case for my time you have stolen from me. Lucky for you I am not greedy. Next time you may forfeit your lives! So, see to it there is no next time.
Sincerely,
The man who beat you senseless.

I made it to my meeting at work. The rest of my day went pretty well until I checked the suitcase full of money and it was fake. When I pulled out a wad of 3 dollar bills with Paul Newman on it, I knew it was fake...Oh well, I was going to burn it anyway just in case it was blood money or something. Anyway, I hope you had an exciting day but less dangerous.

ALMOST 'LOST' TIME!