Prepared to blend in with Locals in Gatlinburg!

Why grow a beard in the summer?
First of all because I can!

Secondly I am MAN hear me roar and eat my TEXAS DOUBLE WHOPPER.

Of course Desmond came back!

In a deep Scottish accent....."Did you think I've gone somewhere"

Ducks N Da Pool

Yes! We have ducks that swim in our cement pond. They usually get out when someone goes in. Yesterday I was swimming and one came in for a landing. It was a mallard. When it saw me it changed its altitude and course to Up and North west. It was cool seeing a duck fly about 4 feet from my head.
One would think the Chlorine would not be safe for rodents and fowl alike. Yet I see squirrels drinking the water and their population has not ceased, more so has steadily increased. Needless to say, some swim with the fishes eventually...I, it seems, shall swim with the ducks!

Crazy thing Happened today!

Hey! Don't have to go to Cali for a couple of months, so the vacation is still a go! Yes! The Fit is GO!

Also, what crazy thing happened you were asking? I was walking outside, taking a little walk after lunch around the grounds, and I hear a thud. So, I turn in the direction of the sound in about 0.05 seconds ( 5Hundreth of a second) and see a bird take a nose (beak) dive and stuck in the ground. In disbelief I walked over to the bird and nudged it with my foot. It was still breathing but the little head bobbed on account of a broken neck. Then I remembered Alcatel just had their windows washed a few days ago. So, the little birdie flew right into the glass and broke its neck and did a duck hunt dive. It was sad...I put it in the shade so it would not burn while it was dying.

Anyway, Lost was crazy tonight...and I can't believe next wednesday is the 2 hr finale!

Assumption time: I assume that Saeed will save them from being captured. Also, Desmond is going to help them too. The man with the beard is just a scientist...As all the others are. I think they are pretending to be stranded on the island when they know exactly where they are! Walt....they are not going to give him up....they are just telling Michael that they will let him and Walt go free....when in assumption they will kill off Michael and shave his beard to use with bees wax on another scientist.

Questions

Why? That is the major question for almost everything. Although it is not always just why! Here are some questions that I had to ask myself today:

Why did the big boss (my boss's boss's boss), the guy who is right below the CEO ask me to give a presentation to 45,000 employees tonight? How come I knew what I was doing? How is it that my performance was that of an olympic gold medalist? How is it that at the end of my presentation I was able to do a back flip off the podium? Why did people continue to ask for my autograph?

The answer is as it has been since I can remember:
In times of crisis situations my brain and body works harder. About the autographs, I have NO IDEA!

Other than those recent questions some lingering:
Why does the Walmart at Coit and Spring Creek not have Cherry Coke in a 2 litter bottle??? They never do...it drives me crazy.

WHY is sandwich bread square and lunch meat round and/or oval???? I guess it is harder to create a packaged round loaf of bread...some lunch meat makers have moved to square however, those are not as good, and more expensive for those corners.

Same thing with Pizza and pizza boxes...however I can see the difficulty in making a round card board container for pizza.

The world's first "blue roses" developed by Japanese brewer Suntory these were seen during a press preview for the Rose Show as part of the World Rose Convention in Osaka.

Why did they say these are the world's first blue roses?
They are PURPLE/VIOLET!!! However, they are still beautiful and smell great! Hats off to the Japanese...and again I take off my beret for their sushi!






Why is it that right before my vacation my boss wants me in Mountain View,CA working with Microsoft for a couple of weeks? I told him as long as I am back for May 26th...Will I really have to go again? We will see in a few days...

Why do I have to go back to work in about 2 hours/?

WE ARE NOT SLEEPY

A limerick is a poem usually in the rhythm of aabba.
Here goes a simple one to start off my limericks...perhaps one per week or per two weeks.

How can I sleep?
When I am ready to Leap!
How can I relax?
When my energy is to the MAX!
How can I not make a PEEP?

Interesting Day Today!

Early this morning I was setting off for work, being kinda groggy from a lack of sleep, I tripped down the stairs with my laptop and my Ewok lunch pail. So, from the start at 5AM I knew this was going to be a very interesting day. On the fall from floor 2 to ground level there was very little damage associated with my person. I broke only 2 ribs. Being that I need my ribs very little to walk or use my limbs everything was alright. Laying on the ground I noticed something very strange. Laying there breathing heavily with the scent of morning dew in the air, I noticed a man with a ski mask standing behind the bushes. I shouted to him, "I say good man, what need of you a ski mask? What foulness of a face must you disclose from me? Have you dangerous intent of a robbery?". He then nervously proclaimed, "This is not yo luky day maan!! I want yo laptop, yo bling, yo Versace Specs, and yo wallet. Hand it over or I will bust a cap!". Unshakenly I responded, "You cowardice of a man! How dare you try to make a dishonest living! I am surprised that you would be so inclined to have such a venture towards a man you know not thereof his fighting style and/or technique! Try if you must to cap me if you dare! I honestly must declare I will smote you!" Needless to say after my remarks the worm of a man with a ski mask ran for his life! Rising to my feet laughing, my day started to turn around, so I thought. I surely thought about taking my Silver G35 Infiniti Sports Coup to work today. I just got the thing waxed so I had to take the Hummer (H3), so my car would be nice and shiny for our date tonight(Lost Night). I loaded up the hummer and proceeded back upstairs to say my good byes to my wife, Jenny (Skin). She, being sound asleep, did not hear me approach. I woke her an gave her a big kiss good bye and told her, "My Love I shall see you in about 13 hours, and with much love we must part because I have a meeting in about 30 minutes!".
Driving along minding my own business, heading toward work, I had a tail. I thought surely no one has any interest in following me, but sure enough every turn I made they made and every time I sped up so did they. The car was a black BMW with the windows very dark. It was about 10 minutes into this slow chase when I thought to kick it up a notch. I sped up to 130 MPH. The BMW had no problem keeping up. I did not want this person to know where I was going, so I went off road and so did they. They kept up for some time. Finally they were long gone. I made my way back to the main road and drove along steadily and forgot about that black BMW. About 10 minutes later, gun shots fired and my back glass was shattered. I then knew this was definitely an interesting day. I had no kind of weapon on me to retaliate being that I was headed to the airport and such things were frowned upon. I was tired of playing around with these brutes hence I pulled over and stepped out of the H3. I waited next to my H3 until the black BMW pulled right along side and out came 4 rather large ruffians. Each had a 9mm baretta and a black bat. Before any could speak I spoke, "What is the reason for this chase and your attempted murder? I must say you fellows look like you want to fight. Well, a fight you will have! You have brought this upon yourselves! Have you any idea who you are about to brawl with? I must say it has only been since last Tuesday the last time I pulled a man's heart out with my bare hands, I could do for some more practice!". They all just stood around me with scared faces. None said a word. Realizing I may be late for my meeting if I don't take these guys out quickly I shout, "BEGIN AT ONCE!". At once they came and after disarming one guy with a round house kick, I grabbed his discarded bat and beat the rest of them senseless. I could have killed them, but I decided just to make them unconscious ASAP. In less than 20 seconds 4 large ruffians lay sprawled out on the side of the road in Plano. I searched the BMW and found 3 suit cases filled with money. Not being greedy I only took one and left a note which read:

Dear Ruffians,
I have taken one suit case for my time you have stolen from me. Lucky for you I am not greedy. Next time you may forfeit your lives! So, see to it there is no next time.
Sincerely,
The man who beat you senseless.

I made it to my meeting at work. The rest of my day went pretty well until I checked the suitcase full of money and it was fake. When I pulled out a wad of 3 dollar bills with Paul Newman on it, I knew it was fake...Oh well, I was going to burn it anyway just in case it was blood money or something. Anyway, I hope you had an exciting day but less dangerous.

ALMOST 'LOST' TIME!

Problems deciding who to KIT with email?

Ever get the feeling like you have so many people to keep in touch with, but just don't know who you should email first? If you do I have a solution that works for me:
Say you have a thousand email contacts all of which if you had the time would email them everyday...sure...you just can not decide who to email in the given time you have. As for me I choose to make it random and here is my technique:
First step is to put all of your contacts in an Excel spreadsheet by copying from the list of all your email contacts from your email host and paste it into an Excel spreadsheet listed 1 to n, n=number of contacts. Second step is to go to http://www.random.org/nform.html and fill out the form below as I have done:

• Enter how many numbers (how many people you want to email) to generate.
• Enter 1 for the smallest value.
• Enter n (the number of contacts in your excel spreadsheet) in the largest value.
• Enter how many columns you want to display.
• Then Click get numbers.
• Now using the generated numbers check your excel spreadsheet of contacts and email the contacts associated with the number.

Glad I could help so many on this one!

Great Idea for Movie Previews

This weekend I came up with a great idea for movie previews. Jenny and I rented a movie for Friday night and watched it. Afterwards in the special features of the DVD I went to the theatrical trailer. I had a theory that I could have figured out everything that would have happened in the movie by the trailer. Sure enough it seemed they pretty much gave the whole movie away in the trailer. Here is the idea:
Watch only the preview and fill in the rest! You can save up to 3 hours of your life...if the movie you are planning on watching is 3 hours long. Also, you save money because you can watch previews on most basic channels. I suggest using a DVD recorder or almost obsolete VCR to record previews on basic cable channels. The normal time you would watch a movie should be when you watch your previews. You can watch them with your spouse or with your friends...then afterwards each person, part of the preview movie party, in great detail describes what they thought happens throughout the movie using clues from the movie trailer.
+You can still eat popcorn, which is usually finished the first 5 minutes of any movie anyway, if you know how to eat popcorn of course.
+You save money on rentals, theater tickets, & gasoline just to name a few.
+It is safer to stay home than chance your life with all those crazy people on the roads. If you are one of those crazy people you make it safer for the rest of us.
+You can always find out what really happens from the friend who always tells the ends of movies and such...If you don't have one of those friends I suggest you get one...Also, does it really matter what really happens...since it is not true or real life.
What do you think???

Why Blog?

I have chosen to create a blog to write some of my assumptions, limericks, and ideas, which most of the time are amazing. What better way to share them! Also, sometimes being amusing it may bring joy to someone somewhere who may be having a bad day or good day, either way perhaps bring a smile to someone underneath the sun or moon. Also, another reason for me to blog is to practice on my future vocation as an inspiring writer.